Written within the realm of the Song of Solomon, these poems move through displacement, spiritual warfare, social betrayal, visionary encounter, and fierce declaration with the authority of someone who has passed through the fire. Written with compression in lyric verse along with the momentum of spoken word—this is a collection that silences a room and then fills it back up with something it didn't have before.
O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice; let me hear it.
I was raised for a little while within camps long overdue for closure, where serpents roamed freely in the humid south, rain scattering on tin roofs, offering a hint of peace and joy. My family—we left and came here like a shroud in the dark, hardly knowing who we were. And within the belly of a great eagle, I cried, “I want to go home.”
My mother hushed me. “We are going home.”
How could home be a place you’re going towards and not back to? A place you’ve never known?
On a pale October day I sat with my peers noticing something strange in my mute demeanor
I could find no words and all my hope for that ephemeral confidence was torn asunder
When I came home that day my mother asked Where has the color gone in your face
I could not say anything and proceeded to lay down with overwhelming doubt
Lingering lifeless between this world and the one where souls wander
Hope could not move me and faith could not save me
By the knowledge of good and evil you fell By the knowledge of good from evil you shall rise
“How are you so lucky? You’re good at everything you do.” “By God’s grace,” she said with complete conviction. “Do you mean you are more blessed with grace from God than others?” She was pensive. “An oracle said, in my last lifetime I was a princess drenched in court training consisting of art, poetry, music and such things. These fine talents, with the rest of my soul, passed over to this life of mine. I may or may not deserve them but as such, that is the way of karma and grace.” She was now solemn. Her eyes had a hint of sadness as if thinking of her previous incarnation, of which he could not be sure if she wholly believed. If she was feigning and facetious, he could not tell. He was drawn in like a fish before and now he was a mosquito mesmerized by light. “Were you always talented or did you have to acquire them...again?” “Do you know the nature of things? The nature of a talented person is excellence in whatever endeavor they take. As such, it was in my nature. Everything I did, I did well. There was no doubt I should not excel and no doubt about the quality of my output. It was a given; I expected it. There was no other outcome I could expect. I required no daily chanting of affirmations or woo-woo of any sort. My instructors described me as talented but, as if looking through a dim mirror, I could not perceive clearly the meaning of the word. Now I understand completely.” “You’re a cut above the rest.” “I glory for God, nothing more.”
I counted the costs— it was better than mixed wine better than the approval of man better than satisfying my flesh I had climbed the ladder reached six figures but the taste was dry and bitter God’s promises were better I counted the costs it was all worth it I counted the costs I went all in.
Oh, how I loved you the moment I knew you in my womb And so, how He loves us before the foundations of the world
They know who I am, they know my worth—my fortitude, so they smear and drag my name in the dirt Where others suffer with dignity and sympathy, I suffer with humiliation and no one to defend me How they would love to give me sour wine to drink! I was like a dog kicked to the curb, I suffer wounds and the attacks of demons but none would believe me My keepers, they took my veil With no friend in sight, not even my brother my constant confidante losing my breath, my lampstand, I turned to the Word in obedience and the Lord restored me, He showed me my song You will know that He has loved me Then you will know that He is LORD
In my father’s house where Satan dwells among shadows and shamans, I feel his presence towering in utter darkness before the xwm kab; his horns like Baal and Murdoch, those the shaman flings to the ground in divination. His presence shakes me to my bones, overwhelming my sanity, and I’m shaken with a fear far more than I had been as a child living in a house haunted by spirits. In my father’s house where Satan dwells, I wish to tear down the xwm kab with the zeal Jesus had in the temple among the money changers, and turn all the lights on for a mere glimmer of the light of the Lamb in New Jerusalem.
Technology to the primitive man seems like magic and the supernatural. The supernatural to the modern man seems like advanced technology centuries ahead.
By my bed, I imagined my lover had prepared my bed of luxurious pine and rose of Sharon colored linen for the days we’d meet in love dearly sweet, the way in one account, Solomon brings in an instant the Queen of Sheba’s throne pacifying her in full submission.
Day and night, my enemies surveil me casting me in nets in secret spaces The flock peruses and gorges on the feed loving unrighteousness, they were deceived Lord, your servants go astray, for behind helping hands are snares and a Judas kiss —those whom I walked with in your house, O lord Friends are foes, shooting arrows in the dark
Why did Kinnaree leave and forsake true love? Because the heart of man is evil. Why should you look at the Shulammite?
I never understood the way of gossip. I knew how it felt to be exploited—the shame of words spreading in the shadows; a scarlet letter stamped on my name and everyone knows something I could only hear like a whisper—words refusing to reach their receiver. I sit with the meek—the low in spirit. These have always been my friends, my brethren. There is comfort here with the weak. This is God’s Law stamped on my heart. If it’s scarlet I wear, then let it be His blood with which I’ve been bought. If it’s in the shadows my name has been passed around, then let it be in the shadow of the Most High I abide.
Beloved, do you know Jesus was there when you fell? He was there when you were assaulted; when you were uncomfortable. He was there when your peers mistreated you and all the teacher could say was, “she’s hyperventilating,” and refused to address you by name nor face to face as she asked if you wanted to see a counselor and you hardly knew it was directed at you. He was there in the embarrassing moment as if Satan had caught you in a trap and word passed around and even the teachers spoke about you behind your back, literally, in the library when you were trying your best just to get some tutoring. He was there when you were exploited and people branded you with a label as if they didn’t do the same things. It’s easier to point fingers. He heard you when no one took you seriously and He sees how it grew out of proportion. He was there when you risked it in the midst of commotion to prevent what could’ve been a killing and you never boasted, never gloated about it proudly; you kept it to yourself and He was proud. Lord, you say, if I keep it all to myself, never complain, never vent because I forgive, how much heavier was your heart when you bore in complete silence as your own all our sins? How then can I complain? Count it joy, brethren.
My entire life culminates in this moment and I don’t quite know why.
It’s the shadow of leaves dancing on concrete, the slant of light flooding the room in early evening It’s the draft of sheer wind when all I want to do is sleep and feel the breeze upon the crown of my hair It’s the anticipation of chance encounters the reason why all songs are now revered The numbness fades and the tension dissipates I realize a bit late Love is a commitment, not a feeling the way Jesus came to serve and save
A white cloth has been laid on me like armor a shield of strength and dignity A crown has been given and wings the eyes cannot see I am shielded and nourished with the truth The serpent pursues me from below wroth with fury, eyes of a killer What is to come, no eyes have seen no mind can comprehend
Only the wise want wisdom.
You are like the blanket of the first snow the warmth and fullness of the first crop the cool of morning dew resting on blades of grass You whisper to me, delicate as a lily your words sweeter than honey the peace of waves rolling to shore You hold me captive with fascination and I am in awe The promised day awaits where my spirit christens my name written in your book eternally
When God created the world knowing the beginning to the end, and began with the Word, was he a plotter or a pantser? Did he have an outline or did he fill in the blanks as one does when his essay, clear and concise, is short 500 words, placing prophecies deliberately in the perfect hands—the reason why some moments seem so serendipitous and some, ominous? Or did he, in the swiftness of one thought, have in his mind the whole timeline—every possibility of the human experience of good and evil drawn out in countless lives, impossible to count as the sand and stars in the sky, foreseeing every action and consequence and ramifications to the last generation? However He imagined it, like a writer after penning an impressive work, or an artist after his last stroke, leans back with delight and says, “It is good.”
People of the world will call someone who loves God with all their heart, all their mind and all their soul the devil, as if to love God that much is an obsession only the devil could have. What does it look like to love God this much? It is to have your mind on Him the moment you wake up every hour of the day, and still think of Him as you go to bed. Once, during my early days as a newfound believer, someone once complained underhandedly to me about myself, how annoying it was hearing a certain girl’s ecstatic love of God and constant mention of Jesus. How could someone talk about Jesus all the time! That is the attitude of the world—of scoffers. But what is foolish to the world is wise in the eyes of God. So let me look foolish instead.
On the road today I danced with God, reverberated with joy like baby John the Baptist —Holy Spirit-filled as God showed off His splendor to me like the rolling of an antique reel Scene upon scene, He said, “it’s all for you,” the way a chorus of angels sung to me vividly in a dream at 16 And when I was overjoyed, He brought forth yet one more wonder after another the valley arrayed with luxurious green—abundant life like Eden, heaven’s gate opened before me in the parting of clouds only for those with eyes to see, smooth riding alongside cars gliding down the suburban bypass perfect for racing, the sunlight was brighter and children’s laughter in the street happier, And I wondered, Did anyone else dance too?
When the moon has passed its zenith, you and I meet flooded in the purest light. Here I am myself, unbounded by awkward limbs and flesh. Uninhibited in the spirit, I am free to cup your face, solid in my palm. Here, you gave me a most tender kiss, though we would never find ourselves a chance apart from this place where we are free.
Am I now led into the wilderness, or is this a wilderness inside the wilderness?
I have lived a dizzying life of a wilderness: confusion after confusion, falling after falling. Now God brings me into a wilderness season, confronting the past boldly, but the words I overhear puts me into quick flight. Accepting the transport of my people, we ride swiftly into the wilderness like the chariots of Amminadab. There I look upon past, present, and the future as I survey fate and destiny. There, I give my Beloved my love.
Are you human or angel angel or demon demon or prophet False Prophet or the Two Witnesses.
I hurried about in the kitchen worrying how I’d break two tiny loaves of bread into sandwiches for six. I made it and after, with gladness, I thanked God Jesus was able to break five loaves of bread for five thousand.
Search the crevices of my mind and you might fall in love My love has gone through space and time, life and death, and brought me back from the pits of despair into His embrace A man of sentiment and a man of valor men weep in his sorrow and shudder at His glory My love knows all of me, loves all of me He has seen me since the beginning of time
Everybody wants to be the hero but no one wants the suffering
Our song is like the wind, free to go wherever — soft or fierce it brings waves to shore and calls it back to sea— the calm and the storm It is leaves going gently about, falling and rising, resting upon a rock or swirling like a dance of Mahanaim They say words are wind, but the Word is life and love, it brings healing to our wounds My love, it takes a pauper to be king and a slave to be queen but we wouldn’t want it in this life, would we? Rather, a breeze and a ray of light breaking into a million shades, going fast or slow; still, in a moment, or watching the whole spectacle Neverending and everlasting, that is our love
Art imitates life but if you look deeply, life becomes art.
I thought I wrote concisely, stripping ideas to their bare minimum and the simplicity of two-liners. Jesus reduced the commandments and the epitome of the wisdom of Solomon, all his thousand proverbs to two commandments—and there was no condemnation. I prayed, and God spoke to me in one word and with one word He expressed everything I needed to hear and do. Be concise, our English teacher told us. Well, God is the most concise of all in this game of words. He gets the last laugh.
Selah
Did Jesus not say, Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me. Is love not summed up in these words? Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. What are charitable and sacrificial works worth? For, If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Have we forgotten? Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Love, This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
# Computer programming is a creative act with commands devoid of life and God; a paltry imitation. You see, God is global. And if the devil’s gotten you in a chokehold—a loop—your only esc is God. The best script you can pray according to His command is: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. # Then make your request known according to these parameters—His will. For you are a child of God. And He is not just a parent but the Father. And we function within His rules and constants shown to be true and a multitude of references of scripture that came before, speaking prophecies—the testimony of Jesus. So, if you glorify the inventions and science of man, then even as a seasoned software engineer, you can worship God, the true commander, and follow Jesus—the Word and the command, the completion of the program. Selah;
On this path in the wilderness, day after day, I saw glory upon glory— the sight of clouds like the right arm of God before me, ships of Tarshish in the sky arrayed as for battle, sunlight like a veil of light, a banner of love over all of us, and along the winding road, I saw a lake between mountain peaks above my line of sight with a brilliance like the translucent, pure gold of the streets of New Jerusalem Yet again, I was the only beholder
I was about to head down the stairs for an errand with my daughter when she stopped me. “Look, mom,” she beckoned at me from my open bedroom door. It was late afternoon and still bright outside. The window let in some light into the darkened, blue-tinged room. What had caught her eyes were the splendor of rainbows cast upon the walls across one end to the other, as if the light from the small opening of the curtain had caught in a glass object at the perfect time and angle, reflecting rays of brilliant colors for a spectacular show. I could not locate the source of the rainbows; the angle of the light could not have touched upon any piece of jewelry reflecting outwards to the entire room. If there had been a source, the likelihood of all these rainbows reflecting from one source in one place, one room, could almost never happen in one lifetime. Double rainbows were rare enough. “Do you know what the rainbow represents in the Bible? It is a covenant between God and His people.” I was aglow with awe and wonder, but a hint of doubt stole the moment as swift as the joy had filled me. False signs and lying wonders. I was a little uneasy. Those who tormented me committed unimaginable deception and demonic maneuvers in the spirit; anything was possible at this point. I hesitated, then rushed us downstairs out into the cool spring day.
That morning after a deep sleep, as I came to myself, and as I sat in the shuttle, You gave me understanding of your Gospel Now, in my dream, I saw in visions the suffering you would endure and the glory you would receive, and as I sat beside you excitedly, I tried to help you but the prophecy was being fulfilled as I speak So we sit here like reflections— You at the start of the age, and I at the end of the age Oh, were it that we were holding hands through time but now yours is in mine
Perhaps in the temple when my Beloved was young, He saw His bride hunted like a doe of the dawn The wisest of all, knowing the ideals of the Daughter of Zion, though a strong gazelle, He made himself the Doe of the Dawn, becoming in her eyes her perfect man —gentle and lowly, humble and kind Words dripping with authority veiled in triple layers one of compassion, one of true power, and one to impress, wooing the Daughter of Zion into his arm and rest Having no form or comeliness, He proved himself worthy of a glorious body —the most handsome of men And having lost her beauty and her life, she said, You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life, the perfect guide He said, I will die for you and all our brethren And she said, I’ll lay my life at your feet, You died for me I will do the same gathering our kin
I have made my life a living sacrifice for you may my love be as a pleasing aroma—like myrrh arising from the pendant laying on my chest made of my love infused with your wisdom In an upper room you washed my feet, though I tried to wash yours, but the gentleman you are, Yeshua, you washed mine and made me yours You speak in hyperbole and go to extremes you swept me off my feet, you called me wife you showed me off as yours your extremities I rightly adore Draw me after you, let me be weak with love send me gifts til this covenant is sealed revelations, visions, dreams and words most of all, the light of your lovely presence
My Beloved has a boldness that could only come out of Nazareth, of whom Nathaniel, ever the true Israelite, said with honesty Nothing good could come out of but my Beloved’s Nazareth composure is a delight unto me My Beloved with whom the lowly Shulammite is well pleased
Mother, if you could see, I’m braver than you’re led to believe. You have seen my whole life play out before its time; all sorts of maneuvers couldn’t stop what was foretold. Caged in, clipped wings, blinded and broken, sheltered from the spoken things—I’m still standing, and enduring. If they come, they will come. If I die, then I die. ‘less my Lord delivers me, I might just make it out alive.
Home was always a place I was going towards.